The episode of the purchase of Me'arat Hamachpela is emphasized a number of times in Sefer Breisheet.

Not only is it discussed in depth at the beginning of the parsha, it is also mentioned again at the end when Yitzchak and Yishmael come to bury Avraham. The Torah goes to lengths to emphasize that the burial takes place in the cave that Avraham bought from Bnei Chet, where he buried Sara, and where he in turn was buried. And in Parshat Vayechi, both in Yaakov's words to his children, and again when he is buried. The Torah emphasizes that it was the cave that Avraham bought from Ephron.

Why is it necessary to emphasize this so many times?

In addition, the Gemara at the beginning of Kiddushin talks about the ways in which a man can effect a kinyan for his wife. One of the methods mentioned there is a kinyan through money, and the source for this is a derivation from the field of Ephron, through the use of the Hebrew root "LKH" meaning to take, or to purchase.

Yet there are no more opposite things in the world than marriage and burial. Marriage is the happiest time in a person's life, while burial is the most tragic. So how can we compare these two things and learn about one from the other?

Let's have a look at the discussion between Avraham and Ephron (24: 8-16):

Avraham starts by stating his desire to purchase the cave "bekesef maleh", for full price.

Ephron opposes any payment, but Avraham does not relent. As the discussion continues, it seems that Ephron continues in the same vein - that the money is insignificant to him. We would expect that the end of the discussion would be in that same direction, that Avraham would receive the field as a gift.

Yet suddenly, everything changes. Avraham gives Ephron the full amount "transferred to the seller", which Chazal interpret as being "a deal that would be acceptable in any place." So what happened?

The Torah hints to the source of the change in these psukim: Ephron's first words were stated "within earshot of all those who came into the village". Everyone heard it. But his final words were stated only to Avraham: "And Ephron answered Avraham, saying to him."

In front of everyone, Ephron sounds like a huge benefactor, who is ready to give the cave to Avraham as a gift. But in private, we see his true nature. He is interested in all the money, in the entire four hundred silver shekels being transferred to the seller.

Here we see the essential difference between Avraham and Ephron: Avraham was a person of transcendent truth, whose "mouth and heart were the same". There are no facades with him, and what he said in earshot of the Bnei Chet was what he told Ephron in private as well. But Ephron was a man of externalities. The main thing for him was how things looked to others. But internally, the picture was completely different.

So why did Avraham insist so much on purchasing the cave? Even if he had received it as a gift, it would still have been his possession?

The Talmud Yerushalmi (Masechet Orlah) brings an answer. As we know, during the first three years of a tree's existence, we are forbidden from deriving any benefit from the fruit (Orlah). But if a person takes an existing tree and removes a branch, planting it nearby to have it grow into a new tree, how are the three years of Orlah determined? Do we count from the time the "new" tree is planted, or do we rely on the "old" tree's previous status?

The answer depends on whether the new tree derives nutrients from the old tree or not. The Yerushalmi provides a way of knowing whether this is the case: If the leaves of the new tree face away from the old tree, then we see that it is still deriving nutrients from the old tree. And if the leaves are facing the new tree, that is a sign that it is deriving its own nutrients and is fully independent of the original tree.

The reason for this is that, as the Yerushalmi states, someone who eats what is not his is embarrassed to look at the face of the person giving him the food. In other words, if someone receives something as a gift, it is not fully his. He would be somewhat embarrassed toward the person who gave it to him. But if he purchased that item, then the item becomes fully his and there is no embarrassment.

The same thing was true regarding the cave. Outwardly, there is no difference between a gift or a purchase. But inwardly, toward the truth of Avraham Avinu, there is a very large difference. Only if Avraham purchased the cave would it truly be his.

There are a number of opinions in Chazal as to why the cave is called "Machpela". There are those who hold that it is because the cave has dual rooms - some say a room within a room, and some say a room with a loft above it. And there are those who hold that it is because there are couples buried there (Adam and Chava, Avraham and Sara, Yitzchak and Rivka, Yaakov and Leah). But the Zohar says that the reason is because those buried in it were the people who succeeded at "doubling" themselves. Hashem called "Avraham, Avraham" and "Yaakov, Yaakov" - referring to the Avraham above, the heavenly soul, and the Avraham below, the flesh and blood Avraham.

Every person has two essences - The soul, which is part of the heavenly host, is the person's internal essence. The body, which is in this world, is the externalities of a person. It is very hard to create a perfect identical match between the two essences, where the body will act only according to the essence of the soul. Our forefathers managed to create such an affinity between the two essences, thus "doubling" themselves. The body was not a separate essence, but was the exact double of the soul. These were the people buried in Machpela.

Therefore, precisely when the cave was being purchased, the question of the doubling came up. Ephron was a person whose internalities and externalities were completely different. The way things were presented outwardly was not the way they were dealt with internally. There is no doubling or affinity with him. At the same time, Avraham was a person whose internalities and externalities were identical. Therefore, he is the person most suited to be the true owner of this cave.

That is why the Torah emphasizes the purchase of the cave so often - to show us that it is precisely the people of truth, the people who succeeded in matching their internalities and their externalities, who are buried there.

There is another significance to the difference between Avraham and Ephron. It is in their view of time. A person who is only interested in the externalities is also interested only in the here and now. But practically every untruth is revealed after some time. It is only the truth that withstands eternally. By looking only at the here and now, there is a tremendous opposition between marriage and burial. But by looking at eternity - at the inner truth - marriage and burial complement one another.

Chazal made an amazing comparison between the days after a marriage and the days after a death. The Gemara in Masechet Ketubot describes the cups of win and the brachot that were featured at a house of mourning, and shows that they are just like the ones in Sheva Brachot. This shows us that there is no opposition between these things, but rather they complement each other. The connection between a man and a woman is not momentary, but is one of eternity. It begins with the marriage, and continues beyond the bounds of this world. In this way, the purchase of the cave teaches us about marriage.

At the end of the episode of the purchase, the Torah concludes with "Vayakam Sdeh Ephron Asher Bamachpela… LeAvraham Lemiknah." Rashi cites Chazal, stating, "it was established - it went from the possession of a layman to the possession of a king."

Ephron was called a "layman", while Avraham was called a "king". Why?

The true king is one who can control his internal power. A king who only looks outwardly like a king is not a true king, but rather a slave to public opinion, the media, etc.

That is the reason why Ephron was called a layman, while Avraham was called a king. And for this reason, it was Avraham who got to own Machpela - to continue the path of the ancestors of the world - Adam and Chava.